No More Downplaying: Period

I have a real issue with acknowledging my achievements and talents in my life.  Self-doubt has always been such a big problem for me.  It’s almost as if I think that I don’t deserve whatever it is I accomplished or my God-given talents.  Take my recent weight loss as a prime example.  I have lost over 30 pounds in the past 11 months.  That’s a big freaking deal by anyone’s standards.  But to me, seeing as though it took me damn near a year to do this, it wasn’t good enough.  My thinking was that I should have lost more in that time.  I belittled all the hard work, sweaty workouts, sore muscles and hours of meal planning I put into the process.  None of that shit was easy or fun to do, trust me.  So why do I continue to do this to myself?  I think it’s because no matter how far I may have come; I always see how far I still have to go.  Even though I have lost over 30 pounds, I tend to mostly focus on the weight I still have left to lose.  For me, this isn’t exclusive for just my weight loss.  This has translated to most of the things I have achieved and to my goals.

I have a tendency to downplay MOST if not all of my accomplishments and talents.  And it’s totally not a, “I’m trying to stay humble” thing. It’s more of a, “I sort of did it, but damn I still have so much farther to go” thing.  See the problem?  Often times I can’t pat myself on the back for doing something that I worked really hard to do.  Some things that even people who know me wish they could have done.  That’s the very thing I have been told a few times by several different people  They say this in regards to my recent weight loss and also about the things that I have written that they have read.  But since I’m nowhere I want to be and in my mind, “still have so far to go” it means almost nothing.  Career-wise, I’m nowhere close to where I want to be either.  My career goal is to be a full-time author.  To be more specific, I want to write fiction books for adults and children.  I have been doing the biggest step of all to achieve this goal and that is to simply write.  The more writing one does, the better they become right?  The negative side of my thinking always says this step isn’t shit if no one has read what I have written. But regardless of how small, it’s bringing me closer to my goal of being on the New York Times Best Sellers List.  I have been writing much more than I have been in the past few years, which is a bit of an achievement in itself.  I have been submitting my poetry to different publications and have gotten published.  That’s a big one because (as per usual in my mind) my work isn’t all that great.  SIDEBAR:  I received my first professional review of a poem I wrote.  The critic wrote that my poem was, “the first piece I return to after a long day of work to find my calm.”   Cool huh?!

For someone who doesn’t know anything about me to say that my poem was one of her top three favorites in the anthology, has to speak to my writing abilities.  I have to really start training my mind to believe and know that I have a talent for writing.  I must start giving myself credit for continuing to go after my dreams.  Whatever effort I’m making (big or small) it is getting me closer and closer to the finish line.  And I should celebrate every victory with an enthusiastic pat on the back.  I am starting to learn to accept the fact that I am the shit for even making a serious effort to accomplish anything.  The person I was a few years ago would never have attempted the things that I have recently. I think that the downplaying I still do sometimes is a bit of the old me that reside inside.  She always has something less than stellar to say.  Who knows, she may always live in the small relics of my mind.  But I can’t let her or anyone else put a damper on my accomplishments, talents, dreams or goals.  Last Thursday I had the pleasure of going to see an R&B band that I love called, “The Internet.”  I had the privilege of getting some sound advice from one of the members named Matt.  I told him that I was a writer and a future New York Times Bestselling author. Speak it into existence right?  I told him that most times I am filled with so much self-doubt I can’t see how I will accomplish my dreams. I also let him know that despite that, I know that I’m a damn good writer.  But that I have trouble remembering that all the time.  He told me that that sort of thing happens to most people, but that I had to keep positive thoughts always.  I have to be my biggest supporter no matter what.  And that I should always know that anything is possible no matter how impossible it may seem.  I knew all those things before he said them to me.  And I have thought them myself before.  But to hear them from someone whom I just met, and is a fellow artist like me put them into a direct perspective this time.  Thank you, Matt, for putting everything back into perspective for me with your wise words.

So what am I going to do to improve this pointless, negative behavior?  I’m going to start focusing on what I actually did to accomplish the goal.  If someone actually compliments me on an achievement I reached or even notices the effort given, I will sincerely take the compliment.  I will start looking at how far I’ve come as opposed to how far I still have to go.  With my writing, I will pay more attention to writing quality blogs people can relate too rather than obsessing about getting my views numbers up.  If I write good stuff and stay consistent, they will come.  It’s all comes down to how I look at things and what I focus on.  If I (and you) continue to look at how far we still have yet to go, then not only are we downplaying our achievements but we are slowing down our progress.  And trying to achieve anything is challenging enough, why add more unnecessary crap to that?  And above all of that, I truly have to remember this:  I AM THE SHIT.  Period.  I’m good at what I do.  Writing is my God-given talent.   And I have been blessed with the strength, drive, and hunger to get anything I want in this life.  So from this moment on, I’ll do my best to only look at how much I have progressed in my journey.  My advice is not to let a setback (or what you perceive as small steps) keep you from patting yourself on the back for a job well done.  Know that you’re doing your best and you too are the shit.  If you don’t think that you’re killing it at working toward your goals, then you won’t be.  And again, who needs that unnecessary crap on their minds?

 

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Resting Bitch Face: It’s Real

(Disclaimer- I proofread this thing a dozen times and used an online site to help.  If you see any mistakes, I’m only human and not perfect.  Thanks for reading!)

According to Urban Dictionary.com, the formal definition for Resting Bitch Face is:  “A phenomenon in which the resting face lacks animation and appears to look bitchy at all times, thus leading people to believe a person must be upset, a snob or a bitch.”

I am a sufferer of this misunderstood facial phenomenon.  Thinking back on it for the majority of my life, I had absolutely no idea!  I would get the usual questions like, “What’s wrong with you?” or “Who pissed you off today?”  Or worse I would hear later that comments were made about me to others basically saying that I looked bitchy and “unapproachable.”  I wanted to say to them, “This is just my face.”  Who knows how many dates or hangouts I missed out on because someone was afraid to talk to me.  Who knows how many times someone may have looked at me and thought I was an angry person that would kick their ass in a minute.  Now to be completed honest and fair, back in the day I was not always the nicest person in the world.  I had what some would describe as a “bad attitude” and I was a bit of a “Debbie Downer.”  And I take full responsibility for that.  But I’m a totally different person from who I used to be.  I worked really hard to be a happier person for myself and toward others around me.  But do you know for all that work I did, I STILL have Resting Bitch Face?  Smh….

On a brighter note though, having Resting Bitch Face probably kept me from having a lot of unpleasant experiences.  So that’s good!  I feel like I shouldn’t be solely judged because I’m not walking around smiling 24/7.  Who the hell does that?  You know damn well if I did, people would think that I was either high or crazy.  Before when I saw someone sitting alone minding their own business smiling for seemingly no reason, I would have definitely been leery of them.  I would have more than likely thought to myself, “Is that person up to something?  They are smiling way too hard over there and they’re sitting alone.  I better get out of here.”  I know it isn’t right, but that’s what I would have been thinking.  Deep down in my mind, everyone is the potential killer/ rapist.  Weird thinking I know, but hey it has kept me alive and well so far.  I attribute this to watching and listening to far too many true crime shows and podcast.  But seriously though, it’s perfectly ok to be cautious.  But I was judging someone in the way that others judged me. And that isn’t right.

I currently work as a Teacher’s Assistant for a living until my successfully (and very profitable) writing career takes off.  I have to say children never think I have Resting Bitch Face.  Not that they would know exactly what that is, but they don’t judge me on my lack of a happy facial expression.  They usually just see another person that they can talk too about whatever is on their minds.  Children are extremely comfortable around me. I even have children in public places start talking to me without any motivation from me to do so.  I once had cute little girl start a conversation with me in a ladies line bathroom.  I’m sure to the adults around;  I may not have looked like I was interested in talking.  But she didn’t see that.  She saw a person that she wanted to talk to about her Little Mermaid shoes her mother bought her.  And that was the best.

Since I’ve discovered that I suffer from RBF, I do my best to be mindful of it.  Sometimes though, I can’t help it.  I get lost in my own thoughts of things I have to do or want to do. And my facial expressions (or lack thereof) get away from me.  That doesn’t make me not a nice person or unapproachable.  It just means I have a lot of things on my mind at that given time.  So next time you see someone who may suffer from Rest Bitch Face, don’t judge them too quickly.  There may be nothing at wrong with them at all.  For all you know, they could be thinking about how much they really want a taco.

How Are You Running Your Race?

(Disclaimer- I proofread this thing a dozen times and used an online site to help. If you see any mistakes, oh well, I’m only human. Thanks for reading!)
A little over a month ago I was listening to one of my favorite podcast called, “The Read” hosted by Kid Fury and Crissle.  The episode is called, “Cheerleading” and in it, Crissle talks about her history of depression and negative self-talk.  She said something that her therapist told her that made her take a serious look at how she speaks to herself.  And after hearing it, it also made me take a look at how I speak to myself?  Her therapist said to her, “Picture life like a race. And one person is beaten along the path.  Like someone is whipping at their back. Chastising them and telling them all the ways that they suck.  And they’re moving forward trying to be motivated by the negativity.  And the other person has cheerleaders in the distance who are rooting for them and encouraging them to keep going.  And when they fall saying, ‘That’s fine.  You know we all stumble sometimes.  Just get back up, dust your knees off and keep going at it.’  And you can choose how you’re going to talk to yourself through life.  Are you going to beat yourself through it?  Or are you going to cheerlead yourself through it?”  Crissle said as soon as her therapist told her that, she began to change the way that she spoke to herself.

I know for an absolute fact that most times I am not kind to myself.  My words can be harsh, rude, mean and downright disrespectful.  Sometimes so that the things that I say to myself I wouldn’t dare allow anyone to say to me.  So why is it ok that I say those things to myself?  Ideally, I know that it’s not.  But that doesn’t stop me from constantly doing it.  At one point the negative self-talk was loud and often, it became the only self-language I knew.  I have come a long way from the constant beating myself up.  But I still have a tendency of whipping my own back instead of rooting myself on in this race called life.  My problem is I’m often living the past or worried about the future.  Neither of which is mentally healthy for me to do.  One reason is that I can’t seem to forgive or forget my past mistakes.  The second reason is that I’m not presently where I want to be in life, and I worry I’ll never get there.

My negative self-talk appears to come from my own vision of lack and comparison.  Since I don’t have the things that I want, all I see is lack.  Here’s how it usually goes:  “I’m not currently working as a full-time writer because I lack the skills needed in order to achieve that.  I’m single because I lack the beauty it takes to draw someone’s interests.  I’ll never move ahead in life because I made that awful decision five years ago.”  You get the idea.  The comparison comes from looking at what everyone else is doing instead of looking directly at my own path.  I’m watching how everyone else is performing in their race of life and that slows me down.  I get slowed down because I think I should be where they are in life.  Often times I forget the fact that everyone runs at their own pace. So where does the negative self-talk, my vision of lack and compassion get me?  The short answer is:  NOWHERE.  And who the hell wants to stay there?

After hearing Crissle give the race example that her therapist gave her, it really made me want to change my internal dialogue.  I want to cheer myself on the way I would cheer for others.  I’m a fantastic cheerleader for everyone else.  Why shouldn’t I do the same for myself?  Learning to not beat myself up will surely be an everyday struggle.  This isn’t something that will suddenly stop overnight.  I will probably have to work hard each and every day to see the good in myself.  I can do this by learning to ignore those things I don’t see as being “good enough.”  For every discouraging thought that comes across my mind, I will quickly follow it up with something I love about myself.  I will keep my eyes on my own journey and pace, and not worry so much about what others are doing.  And not comparing my speed to theirs.  Knowing that comparison only serves to injure me in my own race.  Daily, I will think of a least three things I like about myself or that I’m good at.  This will serve as the encouragement that I need to hit the finish line. I want to run a strong race, with all the strength that I can muster.  I must learn to not be my biggest adversary.  And become my biggest supporter, encourager and overall best friend.  Because after all I am the one running this race, and this race I fully intend to win.

ESP: Energy Sucking People

Have you ever been around someone that as soon as they appear, a large portion of your energy is drained?  I have.  And to be honest, I have been that person.  But here’s the thing:  I didn’t realize that I was doing it.  I think most ESP’s (Energy Sucking People) never realize that’s what they are doing.  As a former ESP, I can say I never knew it.  I thought I was doing one of the following instead.  I believed I was keeping it real (aka being honest) or looking for advice with my venting.  Turns out the “keeping it real” wasn’t always so good.  When I thought I was being “helpful”, I was actually being hurtful.  And the “looking for advice with my venting” was actually just whining.  I just wanted to talk about all the bad in my life because I was looking for sympathy and agreement.  And the minute I felt like you didn’t agree with me, the conversation was over in my mind.  ESP’s often times just want to know that you are feeling the same way that they are.  The last thing a ESP wants to hear is that life is going well for you.  As I stated earlier, I don’t believe that this behavior is intentionally done by all of them.  But there is a small portion of them that like to know that they are not alone in their misery.

For me, it wasn’t that I wanted everyone to be unhappy or down because I was.  But I did take some solace in knowing that I wasn’t the only one whose life wasn’t going as planned.  The other kind of ESP is the one who doesn’t know that they drain the life out of any situation with their presence.  They have been an ESP so long that it just second nature for them.  It has become ingrained in who they are.  (Raises hand slowly)  When I was an ESP, I couldn’t identify that my lack of positive energy was draining those around me.  That by my talking (aka constant complaining) about my circumstances, I was zapping away their energy.  I didn’t know that I wasn’t getting invited to hangout as much anymore because people wanted to limit their time around me.  By the time I finally did, I couldn’t believe those people stayed around me as long as they did in the first place.  Many said that they stayed around because they knew I was a good person and that they loved me.  (Insert crying emoji here)

As a former ESP, I can now identify an ESP probably quicker than the average person. And when I do I have to ask myself a few questions.  Why?  Why do I continue to talk to this person?  Why do I keep them around?  Some of the ESP’s in my life, unfortunately, are family members.  Truth be told I have zero problems distancing myself from family members that I don’t gel with.  But when they are immediate members that can be harder to do.  Here’s how I handle the ESP’s in my life.

1.) Focus on my happy.  I have one ESP that as soon as I see or hear them, my vibe can be lowered just like that.  I feel the lowering of my vibration, acknowledge it, and find something to be happy or grateful for.  It could be something as a simple as, “My hair looks really good today.  These curls are popping!”  Find something to bring you vibes back up where they belong.

2.) Venting Time Limits.  Everyone needs to let off some verbal steam from time to time. But a person’s steam starts to burn my skin:  I CUT THAT SHIT SHORT.  If they keep coming to me with the same stuff all the time with no sort of change:  I cut that shit short. If when I’m done listening to them I have a headache, my mood is down AND I feel I need a drink……(Say it with me)  I CUT THAT SHIT SHORT.  It’s ok to be there for the people you love and care about especially when they are going through something heavy, they need you.  But make sure to not let them ALL your energy while doing so.

3.) Don’t take their energy personally.  This one can be tricky because my first thought when someone is coming to be with an attitude is I did something to them.  Or when I try to give advice on things I do when I feel the same, they totally dismiss it.  Or worse than that, they lash out.  It’s taking me a while (because as much as I don’t want to admit it) I can be a bit sensitive.  I learned that their shit is their shit.  That their energy is their energy.  That their feelings and opinions are their feelings and opinions.  And that NONE of that has any bearing on how I should feel in my own life or energy space.

So if you find yourself around an ESP, just let them be who they are going to be.  And try not to let their low energy take away from your high vibrations.

Self Confidence: Work That Muscle

I was recently watching a movie called, “House Party 2” which is about one of the main characters nicknamed Kid going off to college. At one point in the film Kid, while studying, reads a quote from Marcus Garvey. The quote goes as follows: “If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won even before you have started.”
Now I have seen this film on numerous occasions, which means I have heard this quote before. But this time it stood out to me more than it ever had before. I had to rewind that scene in order to write down the quote the second I heard it. Then I had to really give some serious thought to what Mr. Garvey was saying. You have no confidence, you’re basically already losing. Damn…… That kind of hurt a little when I really meditated on that.
I can readily admit that since I was a teenager, having self-confidence has been a constant struggle. Whether I was struggling to believe I could learn a new skill or the ones I already had were good, or that my physical appearance would attract the person I liked, it has been an ongoing thing. Here I am 20 years later and many of those thoughts still linger within my mind. It’s an ongoing battle between who I “think” I am versus who I want to ultimately become. Sometimes the distance between the two can be as far as from Earth to Pluto. And my self-confidence spaceship doesn’t have enough fuel or power to get me to the distance dwarf planet.  I have learned after reading many self-help books, listening to self-help podcast and watching motivational speakers on YouTube that self-confidence is, in fact, a muscle.  And that muscle must be worked out daily in order to get stronger and grow.  Did you hear me, people?  I said:  DAILY.  Unlike every other muscle in our body, which need a resting period, the self-confidence muscle can’t be afforded that luxury.

What I have noticed about mine is if I don’t do some form of positive thinking about myself every day, it tends to get weaker over time.  The longer I go without a good thought, the longer it takes me to build my self-confidence back up to where I last left it.  And as I’ve stated in a previous blog post called, “Working out: That Helpful Bitch”, I hate working out.  So who has time to keep working the same muscle all the time and seeing no major results?  Surely not me.  And I’m sure you don’t have the time either.  I’m sure this happens too many of us more than we would like to admit to ourselves let alone the rest of the world.  I think that even the most self-confident person has to experience this from time to time.  The only difference is their bounce back game is probably a lot stronger than yours or mine.   And that’s unfortunate.  I have recently met someone whose self-confidence muscle is the level of strong that I want to get mine too. It seems that no matter what she can’t be brought down.  Whether it be from negative comments from others or even negative thoughts she may have in her mind from time to time.  She knows without a doubt that she will accomplish her goals and that she is the shit.  Period.  She focuses on her strengths, taking daily steps to reach her goals, her spirituality and her overall badassness.  So one is faced with the question:  how do we build our self-confidence muscles during times when we just aren’t feeling it?  The answer to that will undoubtedly be different for different people for sure.  So I’ll just tell you a few things I have been doing to build my muscle up to Hulk status.

1.) If on a particular day I feel down, I don’t stay there long.  We are humans who have ups and downs.  One minute I love my life and everything in it.  And the next I could be questioning why I was put here in the first place.  And that’s cool.  I feel what I need to feel and then MOVE ON.  I work hard to not stay in the dark for too long or it will be harder to light the match that I need to see in order to get out.

2.) I write all my feelings and emotions down on paper.  It may sound stupid or cliché, but I have found that it works for me.  When I’m having a particularly shitty day, I need to write about it.  I write exactly how I’m feeling at that moment.  Whatever crappy feeling I have about myself, others around me or my surroundings get written about.  No hold barred.  And once I have let it all out, I close my journal and leave it there.  Now I’m not saying that once I’ve written it out, I feel 100% better.  Hell no.  But it helps me to get those thoughts out of my mind so I can refocus my thoughts on more productive matters.

3.) I find something that inspires me or makes me feel good.  That could be a book, a motivational speaker, a bible verse, a baby’s smile or a funny meme.  For me, I’ll go on Instagram and look at funny memes to make me laugh.  Or I’ll listen to one of my favorite podcast to help me feel inspired again.  I find “Style Your Mind” and “The Lavendaire Lifestyle” to be among the most helpful for me.  Both podcasts speak to me in a way that is relatable, helpful and kind.

This self-confidence muscle will not be built overnight.  And it damn sure won’t build itself, you gotta put in the work to make it happen.  And as lazy as I am and yes I can admit this about myself.  I’m willing and able to do the work.  And if I can, I know you can.

 

Unsupportive people: Please stand to the left

There are some people in this world that are blessed to have a healthy, positive community of people around them.  These people are highly supported in the decisions or actions they make in their lives.  They never doubt for a second that no matter what their community of family and friends has their back.  And then there are unfortunately others who often times feel alone in the world.  Meaning that they may have friends and family that love them, but may not understand or support them.  They may not support their lifestyle, decision making or dreams.  I fall into the latter category…..unfortunately.

I recently had an interaction with a family member.  I’ll just come out and tell you who I’m talking about, my mother.  (Side Bar: She’s been a negative person for a good portion of my life. And that negativity filtered down to me, which I started to notice in myself a number of years ago. I decided I wasn’t happy being like that anymore and started to work on myself. She hasn’t. Now you are all caught up.)  The encounter ended much in the way that most of them do.  Her not understanding my point of view and not absorbing anything I just said.  She has a tendency of constantly throwing my past mistakes in my face.  And in her mind (for some reason) she thinks this is “helpful” to me.  Huh?  She said to me, “You know what your problem is?”  (Side Bar: She LOVES to point out YOUR problems, but doesn’t take to kindly to you showing hers.)  She continues, “You never like to hear the negative….”  And I said to her, “Damn right, I don’t.  No one does.”

To my point, who the hell wants to hear all the negative things about themselves from someone who is suppose to encourage you?  Or from just anyone with comments like those in general?  Absolutely no one on this planet would appreciate that.  In my mother’s mind, I think she thinks by telling you what your problem is, she’s “helping” you.  By telling you the negative things she sees in you, it will somehow help you be a better person.  Or even better for her, the person she thinks you should be.  She fails to realize that all the negative things she insists on pointing out to me, I already know about myself.  All the past mistakes that she still trying to understand, are the same ones I’M still trying to forgive myself for making.  The only thing her informing me has ever done was bring that negative voice in my head into real life.  Live and in living color.  Aren’t I the lucky one?  (Insert eye rolling emoji here)  Trust me, I don’t need anyone to remind me of the things that I have done that I now regret.  I live with them all day, every day within my head.  And I work really hard daily to quiet that voice down on a consistent basis.  I told her something most of us learned as children from the adults around us.  If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.  Period.  I also informed her that if that is the case for her, I have absolutely no problem with her silence.  And that’s real.

If you have anyone in your community that insists on telling you negative things about yourself:  Shut that shit down immediately.  Find the strength to silence their noise.  Find a positive, diplomatic way to tell them that their input is not needed at this time.  And possibly any other time in the near future.  Let them know that you are well aware of your past mistakes.  You were the one to make them.  And that you are taking steps to work through them.  And that you will be making better, more positive choices in the future.  Do not let someone’s “helping” you get in the way of your focus, progress or growth.  And above all else:  DON’T BUY INTO THEIR BULLSHIT.  If you can see where you’ve been making major progress for the better, hold tight to that.  Know that it may have taken you some time, but it has happened.  It’s real and you did it.  It may not always have been easy to do all the time.  I still find it challenging to change the negative patterns I developed over the years, but I don’t give up.  And it’s definitely been hard since I have a “helper” in my midst.  But the improvement of myself and my life is possible and doable.  And these days my only focus.  Make it your only focus too.  When I think about how I used to be compared to who I am now, it’s like night and day.  Even if my “helper” and others can’t see that I’ve changed.  Truth be told, it’s not for them to see. It’s only for me to know.

Laziness vs Goals

I can readily admit that I am a lazy person by nature.  I have been for a good portion of my life.  And as I have gotten older, I feel like my “lazy” is probably more mental than actual physical.  Being mentally lazy brought me to a state of comfortable being uncomfortable.  Let me explain…..  Even though I was clearly unhappy with almost every aspect of my life, I would do next to nothing to change it.  You would think that being immensely unhappy in that situation would be the catalyst that I needed to want to change.  But at that point I was way too comfortable in my own uncomfortable to move off the couch, let alone set goals to get out of my rut.  It was a lot easier to sit around, bitch about how my life sucked, get sympathy from people and daydream about my goals.  My desire to sit around and sink into my mental lazy was stronger than my desire to reach my goals.

To be honest, this is still (and my always be) something I fight against daily.  Case in point, I have a current weight loss goal of 15 pounds by April.  My laziness kicks in when its time to hit the gym four days a week.  Right now, I’m managing only three days a week consistently.  The shame…. This blog is another example as well.  My initial goal was to post once a week, and for a good portion I have.  But there have been weeks where I didn’t post anything at all.  Either because I couldn’t think of a topic, felt like no one was reading anyway so why bother (still sort of feel like this, but I push through anyway) and of course the oldie but goody:  laziness.  But if I really want to be the writer that I claim to be, this blog is where I start paying in sweat.  (In my Debbie Allen from the 80’s TV show Fame voice. Look it up if you don’t know the reference, Lol)  This is where I will tighten up my writing skills that will help me become a better writer in the long way.  This blog will teach me the importance of patience, so that I won’t give up if my audience isn’t coming as fast as I would like.  I also know that this blog will eventually get me noticed by different companies and people that will help launch my writing career to new heights.  At least these are the things I tell myself to keep my motivation up and running.

I know in order to achieve any of the above I must:  FIGHT. THE. LAZINESS.  This isn’t always easy (or attainable) for me to do daily, so here are a few things I do to help me solider on.  I have a tendency to only see what is directly in front of me and not on the over all future achievement of my goal.  Instead of solely focusing on the present day, I work hard to move that focus to what will happen when I hit my goal.  How I will feel, how I will look, what I will say about my journey and what people may say to me about hitting my goal.  In other words, I try not to give too much energy to my current state and give higher vibrations to my future self and what she has accomplished.  With my current weight loss journey, sometimes I lose sight of the fact that I’m actually down almost 25 pounds.  When I look in the mirror, I still see my “problem areas” and that makes me feel defeated.  So to change my view, I printed out a picture of myself from a friend’s wedding in August and taped it to my wall.  This will help me see how far I have come, instead of how far I may still have to go.  I’m currently looking for full time employment in an office environment.  I have had a few interviews, but no offers as of yet.  Today I found my positive outlook slowly sinking into despair at the thought of not having a full time job, with full time pay, to catch up on my bills.  Again, I turned it around by visualizing pulling up to my new job, in my new office building, with my friendly new co-workers, sitting at my new desk and doing work on my new work computer without having to answer any phones to deal with clients.  I’m not saying by any measure that it will always be easy to change your view.  But do your best not to let what you see directly in front of you, block the beautiful view just behind it.