Resting Bitch Face: It’s Real

(Disclaimer- I proofread this thing a dozen times and used an online site to help.  If you see any mistakes, I’m only human and not perfect.  Thanks for reading!)

According to Urban, the formal definition for Resting Bitch Face is:  “A phenomenon in which the resting face lacks animation and appears to look bitchy at all times, thus leading people to believe a person must be upset, a snob or a bitch.”

I am a sufferer of this misunderstood facial phenomenon.  Thinking back on it for the majority of my life, I had absolutely no idea!  I would get the usual questions like, “What’s wrong with you?” or “Who pissed you off today?”  Or worse I would hear later that comments were made about me to others basically saying that I looked bitchy and “unapproachable.”  I wanted to say to them, “This is just my face.”  Who knows how many dates or hangouts I missed out on because someone was afraid to talk to me.  Who knows how many times someone may have looked at me and thought I was an angry person that would kick their ass in a minute.  Now to be completed honest and fair, back in the day I was not always the nicest person in the world.  I had what some would describe as a “bad attitude” and I was a bit of a “Debbie Downer.”  And I take full responsibility for that.  But I’m a totally different person from who I used to be.  I worked really hard to be a happier person for myself and toward others around me.  But do you know for all that work I did, I STILL have Resting Bitch Face?  Smh….

On a brighter note though, having Resting Bitch Face probably kept me from having a lot of unpleasant experiences.  So that’s good!  I feel like I shouldn’t be solely judged because I’m not walking around smiling 24/7.  Who the hell does that?  You know damn well if I did, people would think that I was either high or crazy.  Before when I saw someone sitting alone minding their own business smiling for seemingly no reason, I would have definitely been leery of them.  I would have more than likely thought to myself, “Is that person up to something?  They are smiling way too hard over there and they’re sitting alone.  I better get out of here.”  I know it isn’t right, but that’s what I would have been thinking.  Deep down in my mind, everyone is the potential killer/ rapist.  Weird thinking I know, but hey it has kept me alive and well so far.  I attribute this to watching and listening to far too many true crime shows and podcast.  But seriously though, it’s perfectly ok to be cautious.  But I was judging someone in the way that others judged me. And that isn’t right.

I currently work as a Teacher’s Assistant for a living until my successfully (and very profitable) writing career takes off.  I have to say children never think I have Resting Bitch Face.  Not that they would know exactly what that is, but they don’t judge me on my lack of a happy facial expression.  They usually just see another person that they can talk too about whatever is on their minds.  Children are extremely comfortable around me. I even have children in public places start talking to me without any motivation from me to do so.  I once had cute little girl start a conversation with me in a ladies line bathroom.  I’m sure to the adults around;  I may not have looked like I was interested in talking.  But she didn’t see that.  She saw a person that she wanted to talk to about her Little Mermaid shoes her mother bought her.  And that was the best.

Since I’ve discovered that I suffer from RBF, I do my best to be mindful of it.  Sometimes though, I can’t help it.  I get lost in my own thoughts of things I have to do or want to do. And my facial expressions (or lack thereof) get away from me.  That doesn’t make me not a nice person or unapproachable.  It just means I have a lot of things on my mind at that given time.  So next time you see someone who may suffer from Rest Bitch Face, don’t judge them too quickly.  There may be nothing at wrong with them at all.  For all you know, they could be thinking about how much they really want a taco.


Why do black people die in scary movies when in reality we don’t investigate shit?

In the majority of scary movies where there is a black actor in it, rest assured they are dying at some point.  And sometimes before the credits even roll!  To me it makes absolutely no sense what so ever.  I’m not saying this because I am black, I’m saying this because it is a fact.  Not for nothing but when have you ever been around a black person, heard a strange noise and had them say, “What was that? I’m going to go check it out.” Never. At best you might get a,”What the hell was that?”  We know that whatever the hell that noise was, it’s a good indication that we need to go in the opposite direction.  I remember one time when I was a teenager hearing a loud bang in the middle of the night coming from the kitchen.  It woke me up out of my sleep and I wasn’t sure what to do.  Do I check and see what it is or pray for the best and take my black behind back to sleep?  Seeing as though it was only my mother, my little brother and I in the house at the time, I chose to do what people do in movies….. I went to investigate. Now mind you, I only did this because my little brother was in the house and I felt it was my job to protect him.  If he weren’t home and it was just my mother and I, she would have been shit out of luck cause I would have run off and left her to fend for herself if someone was in the house.  Ha! Ha!  Just kidding, but I digress.  I get up and grab this super huge wooden post I kept near my bed.  I quietly opened my bedroom door and peaked out.  I looked in on my brother whose room was just to the left of mine, and then I headed down the hall to the kitchen.  I had that bed post perched on my right shoulder like a baseball player ready to hit the home run to win the World Series.  I get to the end of the hall which is the entrance of the kitchen and turn the light switch on.  I was fully prepared to do some serious damage to someone.  I discovered that the dishes that were left in the rack had somehow fallen into the sink.  I never felt so relieved in all my days.  I say all this to say, for the most part we (black people) don’t investigate anything unless a loved one maybe in danger.  And how many times have you come across a scary movie where the black person in it goes to investigate a noise to protect a loved one?  Hardly ever!

Comedian Cedric the Entertainer has a joke where he says that if there are a group of black people standing together and one of them takes off running, we all running.  He said we don’t have to know why we are running, we are just running.  Then he ends the joke by saying, “Man, why was you running?”  And the other guy answered, “I thought somebody was coming.”  Ha! Ha!  Obviously whatever is going on over there is none of our business and we are out of here.  Now don’t misunderstand what I’m saying.  I’m not saying black people are a bunch of punks who can’t defend themselves.  We will kick ass if that’s what needs to happen.  I gave an example of me willing to do just that.  But in the movies where they are boogie men, human killers, ghosts and supernatural things, we are running.  We are getting as far away from that situation as the legs God gave us will carry us.  So Hollywood, if you’re going to cast black people in your scary movies please take note.  Black people sense danger, recognize the danger and we leave the area immediately.  We are not noisy enough to die like the characters you cast us in scary movies to be.  We don’t investigate sh*t.